Life, Love, and Lies
by MushSpotgoil
Summary: Morgan struggles when a recent case strikes close to home. Can he finally come to terms with what happened to him as a child? Meanwhile, Reid is hiding something from the entire team. When Morgan drops off Spencer after a long case a mysterious man is waiting outside of his door. Who is he to Dr. Reid, will he tear Reid away from his team? Warning: Discussion of child sexual abuse
1. Chapter 1

It had been a particularly hard case. Every case involving children was. But this time it had struck a chord with the team. Pre-pubescent boys were being abducted and molested before being murdered. When they found the unsub, they rescued a young boy, about 12 years old, and returned him to his family, but the damage had been done. They were too late to save him from the abuse. Morgan saw the shame in his eyes and knew it echoed his own. The boy kept his head down and wouldn't touch his family. He flinched visibly when his mother reached for him when they brought him into the police station. Hotch asked him to take his statement and the boy rejected with such anger and resentment. Morgan felt all of the kid's pain and knew what a challenge moving forward would be for him. For some reason, it hit Morgan particularly hard this time. It was almost five years since he had faced Buford in Chicago. Morgan had faced what was done to him for years without letting it affect him. But this case just struck too close to home. In two days, it would be five years since his team had flown to Chicago to save him. Five years since he finally faced up to Buford and confronted him about what he had done to him as a child. Five years since he'd had to tell his mother what had happened to her baby boy. Five years since he'd watched his mother break in front of him. Five years since he'd walked into a silent jet and faced the looks of his team. Five years since he'd had to confess to his team what had happened to him. Five years since he'd had to face what had happened to him as a child. Five years since he'd relived all the pain and shame again. As the team finished up their work at the local precinct Morgan hastily spoke a goodbye to Hotch telling him he'd meet them at the hotel to drive to the jet. He walked the three blocks to the hotel in a haze and ghosted into the bar to order a whiskey. He wasn't sure how long he'd been there when he got a text from Reid telling him he was almost ready to check out of their room and Hotch said they'd be leaving for the jet in 20 minutes. Morgan paid for the three whiskey's he'd had and stumbled a little as he got out of his seat. He rubbed a hand over his face and headed up to his and Reid's room.

Reid was sitting on his bed, reading, with his go bag packed at his feet when Morgan entered their room. He didn't say a word to Reid as he started throwing his clothes back in his bag. Reid glanced up from his book to watch his friend but didn't comment as he knocked around the room. Morgan was cleaning his stuff out of the bathroom when Reid approached him. He leaned against the sink as Morgan packed his toothbrush and razor. At first, he didn't say anything so Morgan ignored him. He knew he had done wrong going to the bar when they were technically still on a case. But the case was over, the unsub had been caught, he didn't need to be sober for anything. He was running and he knew it. He had ignored what had happened to him for so long, but seeing it so fresh, it had him coming undone at the seams. He saw the pain, the shame, the emotional turmoil in the victim, and he remembered the way it had made him feel plain as day. But Morgan hadn't been held captive, Morgan had walked free and still returned for more. He could feel the pain and the humiliation coming back and it was suffocating him.

Reid didn't know what to say. He knew this case had been particularly hard on his friend but he also knew that Morgan wasn't one to welcome pity. Reid wanted to tell him the whole team was there for him, wanted to tell him he was sorry for what had happened to him, wanted to make all of Morgan's pain go away, but he knew that Morgan would take any sign of empathy as pity. So instead he simply put his hand on Morgan's shoulder long enough to still him from his packing, looked him straight in the eyes and said, "If there's anything I can do, just ask." He gave Morgan's shoulder a light squeeze and stood up from leaning on the counter.

Morgan couldn't meet Reid's gaze, but he gave him a court nod and Reid went back into the main room. Morgan leaned heavily on the sink after Reid left. He stared at himself in the mirror and couldn't stop the feelings of shame and guilt that washed over him. He must have stood there for a while because Reid was yelling something about leaving in ten minutes from the bedroom. Morgan shook himself out of his daze and grabbed his toiletry bag. He threw it in his go bag on the bed and glanced around the room.

"I think that's it for my stuff," he told Reid. Reid glanced around the room and nodded his approval.

"Alright, let's checkout then, you got your key?" Reid asked. Morgan dug in his pocket and handed Reid his key. They both grabbed their go bags and Reid grabbed his satchel and they headed to the elevator. In the elevator Reid rummaged through his satchel before offering Morgan a mint. Great, Morgan thought, I must smell like whiskey. He accepted and mentally thanked the kid for not calling him out on it. When they reached the lobby, Reid motioned Morgan towards Emily and JJ and went to the desk to check them out. Morgan went to stand by Emily and JJ but he stayed just far enough away not to join in on their conversation. Reid joined them a moment later and Hotch and Rossi weren't far behind them.

"Rossi, why don't you take Emily and JJ, Reid and Morgan you can ride with me," Hotch ordered. The team headed out of the lobby and to the waiting SUV's outside. Morgan lagged behind the group not wanting to talk with anyone.

Reid walked quickly to catch up with Hotch as he led the way out the front doors. As they walked side by side to their cars Hotch looked straight ahead while casually whispering, "How is he?"

Reid sighed, "He's been drinking." Hotch nodded almost imperceptibly and didn't question him anymore. The ride to the airport was mostly silent, with a bit of small talk here and there between the two agents in the front seats. Morgan leaned his head against the window in the back and tried to ignore the thickening tension in the air. He didn't want their pity. He didn't want anyone to feel sorry for him. But at the same time, he desperately wanted someone to tell him it wasn't his fault, that everything was going to be okay, that he had beaten the odds and he didn't need someone like Buford to make his life, he had done amazingly well for himself all on his own. He was emotionally raw and he felt tears prick the bad of his eyes. He sighed heavily and massaged his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.

Reid glanced in the mirror at his best friend in the back and felt a pang in his chest for him. He knew Morgan was in a lot of pain right now, but he didn't know how he could help him. He'd noticed the way Morgan had relaxed into his touch in the bathroom earlier and made a mental note to continue being supportive of his friend in any way he could.


	2. Chapter 2

The team arrived at the airport and boarded the waiting jet. Morgan head straight for the couch after stowing his bag and immediately pulled on his headphones leaning into the wall, trying to separate himself from everyone else on the plane. He felt a pressure on the seat next to him and opened one eye to see Reid had sat next to him. He turned even more into the wall and felt himself tense as he tried to avoid confrontation with the doctor.

Reid noticed the change in Morgan's body language but simply pulled out a book and started reading on the couch next to him. A half an hour must have passed and Morgan was still as tense as ever. Reid could tell he wasn't having any luck sleeping although everyone else on the plane had dozed off almost immediately after take-off. Only Hotch sat awake at the table going over some paperwork. Noting that they had some privacy Reid decided it was time for him to reach out to Morgan again. Without looking up from his book or acknowledging Morgan in anyway, Reid took one of Morgan's hands from his lap and held it in his own.

Morgan ripped his hand away from Reid's like he had been burned by his touch. He was about to rip off his headphones when he noticed that Reid was not even looking at him. There was no pity, or sad eyes, just an offering of support. Morgan still turned back to the wall, this time feeling guilty over rejecting his friend so abruptly when he was just trying to help. He felt a pressure on the outside of his thigh and looked down to see that Reid had left his hand open in the space between their legs. He felt better knowing that he hadn't hurt Reid's feelings too badly. He still ignored the offer and leaned back into the wall.

Reid didn't let Morgan's rejection rock him, he knew that was probably coming. He also knew that Morgan needed support even if he wasn't ready to accept it yet. He left his hand sitting between them and continued reading. Another twenty minutes must have gone by when Reid felt a brush on his hand. He glanced down to see that Morgan had laid his own hand out on his thigh so that his pinky was touching Reid's thumb. Deciding he was going to be the one to make the move Reid quickly flipped his hand over and grabbed Morgan's pinky in his own, locking their hands together. Morgan didn't pull away this time. Reid even felt him relax a little bit. He kept reading his book doing his best not to focus any of his attention on Morgan and make him uncomfortable. Ten more minutes went by when Morgan released Reid's pinky and took his whole hand. Reid couldn't help smiling a little and Morgan must have noticed because he bumped shoulders with Reid.

Morgan relaxed as he felt Reid's clasp on his hand. He was grateful for his friend. Reid wasn't pushing the subject but he knew Morgan need the support. Reid was there, and he didn't have to talk about what happened to him, he didn't have to explain what he was feeling. Morgan was never really sure how the genius had become so emotionally adept. But in all the time that he had known what had happened to Morgan he had never quoted statistics at him about it or treated Morgan like a profile. Morgan wasn't sure how long they had been sitting like that when Reid let go of his hand and pulled away. He sat up straight away and gave Reid an unintentionally panicked look. To his credit Reid didn't say anything just waved his book and dug another out of his satchel before sitting back down and taking Morgan's hand again. Morgan chuckled, a little embarrassed at how he had responded. Reid nudged his shoulder and squeezed his hand and Morgan relaxed again. He didn't know what it was about Reid but something about the kid comforted him. They still had at least another two hours on the plane and Morgan was starting to get a headache from the emotional stress. He took off his headphones and rubbed his temple with his free hand. Reid squeezed his hand a little and Morgan sighed.

"Want me to get you some water?" Reid offered. Morgan just shook his head. He wanted to sleep. He just wanted to escape the whole situation. He leaned his head back against the couch. Reid hesitated before offering, "Would you like to lay down?" Morgan didn't answer right away. Yes, he did if he knew he would sleep, but he doubted he would and he didn't want to lose Reid's support just yet.

"Nah," he responded unconvincingly. Reid picked up on his hesitation. He thought for a bit before pulling his sweater vest of over his head. He scooted down to the end of the couch, folded the vest nicely in his lap, and patted the couch next to him.

"Come on, lie down," He urged Morgan. Morgan just raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Reid, I'm a grown man," Morgan balked him. Reid just shrugged, "We're family." Morgan couldn't argue with that but he still wasn't fond of the idea.

"Nah, come on man, I'll sleep when we get home."

"Morgan, get some sleep," Hotch unexpectedly butted in from his place at the table. "He's right, we are family and right now you need support so take it when it's offered."

"Hotch, I am a grown ass man over here, I can handle myself," Morgan argued, suddenly spurned by the attention of their leader.

"I'm well aware of your capabilities in handling yourself and others. I'd trust you with my life, nothing has changed that." Agent Hotchner tried to reason with him.

"Well then you know I don't need to be treated like a baby!" Morgan was fuming.

"Morgan, no one is treating you like a child. We are merely offering support for your current situation. Accepting that support doesn't make you any less of a man." Hotch went back to his paperwork making it clear he had nothing else to say on the subject. Morgan was still defensive and anger flashed in his eyes. Reid felt like he'd lost all head way that he'd made with Morgan that day. He knew he would be rejected but he felt he had to try at least one more time, to let Morgan know that the offer still stands.

"Derek…" He softly appealed to his friend while reaching out to touch his arm. Morgan looked at him and emotions flashed wildly in his eyes. Reid gave his arm a little squeeze and picked up his book to read again. He hadn't read more than a couple pages when, with a great sound of protest, Morgan flopped his head down on Reid's lap. He looked up into Reid's eyes with a scowl on his face.

"Happy." He monotoned. Reid's eyes flashed with laughter. He kept his face neutral though as he propped his elbow on the arm of the sofa and went back to his book.

"How's your head?" Was the only response he gave. Morgan gave small groan and pinched his nose between his eyes.

"Been better." Reid nodded and with his free hand he pushed Morgan's hand out of the way and started rubbing his temples. Morgan just closed his eyes and didn't say anything. Reid had just finished another chapter when Morgan let out a small irritated sigh. He opened his eyes but didn't look at Reid.

"I, I usually sleep on my side, uh my left side, is, um, is that okay? I don't want to get in your, well, space…" Morgan stumbled out.

"Yeah, sure," Reid said with a nod. He tried not to let Morgan see his breath catch in his throat at the idea of Morgan's face being so close to his stomach. Not that you'd know it but Reid was very self-conscious about his body and he generally cherished his personal bubble. Morgan rolled over and Reid rested his left hand on Morgan's shoulder, drawing small circles on it with his thumb. He rubbed his hand up and down over Morgan's upper arm to try and reassure him of the situation and was shocked when Morgan's whole body stiffened and his hand shot out to grab Reid's wrist. Reid looked down at him with wide eyes as Morgan seemed to just realize what he had done. He quickly released Reid and mumbled an apology.

"Don't ever do that," Morgan spit out gruffly. Reid stammered an apology back and tried to force himself to go back to his book, but he couldn't take his eyes off Morgan, he was still shocked. Morgan squeezed his eyes shut and brought a hand up to cover his face. When he pulled it away Reid could see the pain on his features.

"He," Morgan cleared his throat, "He, uh, used to do that when, when he was finished," he whispered. Reid's heart dropped.

"I'm so sorry," He whispered back. Morgan just shrugged and wouldn't look at Reid.

"No, really Derek, I am so sorry," Reid said earnestly giving his friend's shoulder a squeeze. He couldn't help the pain evident on his features when Morgan looked up at him. He wasn't trying to pity Morgan, he truly felt terrible for what had happened to him and wished there was something he could have done to change it. He looked away trying not to make Morgan uncomfortable.

"Hey," Morgan poked him in the ribs to draw his attention back, "It's really not your fault, you didn't know." Reid just nodded clenching his jaw. Morgan didn't think he'd ever seen Reid angry before. But he could see it plain as day on his features, Reid was livid and he was in anguish over it.

"Can I touch your back?" Reid asked tentatively, not wanting to upset Morgan again.

"Sure, kid," Morgan said closing his eyes again. Reid draped his arm over Morgan's side and let his fingers dance between Morgan's shoulder blades as he turned back to his book again. To his delight only another chapter later Morgan's breathing deepened and had become regular. He was finally sleeping. He glanced up to see Hotch looking at them. He wasn't sure if Hotch had seen the exchange between the two earlier, but he was sure that he had. That was the thing about Hotch, he had a stern demeanor, but he really cared for all of the members of his team. He knew when to pry and when to let things balance themselves out. He held all of their secrets and kept them functioning as a team. He simply nodded his head towards Reid in a sort of 'good job' for getting Morgan to sleep, and went back to his work. Reid sighed and went back to his book.

Morgan awoke to soft voices awhile later. From what he could pick out Hotch and Reid were arguing over something.

"Just be careful," Hotch was telling Reid.

"I am, Hotch I know what I'm doing. He's in a fragile state, I won't upset him more." Reid was arguing back.

"Spencer," First names, oh this was not good. "You've been very… close lately, he deserves to know what's going on." Reid's whole body tensed at the statement.

"I have been nothing but appropriate and supportive, if you think my judgement is clouded in any way you're dead wrong. I have a partner, in case you're forgetting, and I think this conversation is over. You've over stepped Agent Hotchner." Morgan could feel the tension radiating off of Reid. Hotch didn't respond and simply turned back to his work. Reid picked up his book and angrily flipped pages, too fast for even him to read. His legs were shaking and Morgan worried the genius was going to blow at any moment. He shifted slightly and Reid's movement immediately stopped. His body became less tense, his hand found its way back to tracing patterns across Morgan's back in a comforting way, and he breathed a deep sigh. Though his body was still stiff, Morgan felt Reid move away from him and he glanced up to see that Reid had laid his head back on the sofa and shut his eyes. Morgan decided it wasn't worth causing trouble over and let Reid's dancing fingers lull him back to sleep as well.


	3. Chapter 3

Reid awoke as the jet hit the runway and rubbed his hand on Morgan's back to wake him as well. Morgan quickly sat up and looked around the plane like he had been in another dimension.

"It's Tuesday, 9pm, in the year 2011," Rossi joked from his seat having seen the bewildered look on Morgan's face.

"Man, I was out," was Morgan's only response. Reid smiled as he packed his book away into his satchel.

"Alright everyone, good work today. I'll see you all at 9am tomorrow," Hotch directed. The plane had reached the hanger and everyone gathered their go bags and got off in a haze.

"See y'all tomorrow," JJ called as she and Emily headed to their SUV with Rossi. Everyone called their goodbyes and the boys got into the SUV of their own and headed back to the FBI building. Reid sat in the back this time and fell asleep against the window as they left the airstrip.

"Jeez, didn't he sleep enough on the plane?" Morgan joked trying to make small talk with Hotch. Hotch smiled a little, "I think he kept himself awake most of the trip. He had… other priorities." Morgan nodded, the comment quieting him.

"Derek, if you need some time, I'm more than happy to grant it for you," Hotch approached the subject directly. Morgan shook his head, "No, no work keeps me busy. I don't know what happened today Hotch, I'm sorry. I'm okay to work though, I'm here."

"I know your perfectly capable of handling your responsibilities, I'm more concerned about your personal health. Have you been seeing anyone?" Again, he got straight to the point. Morgan shrugged.

"I did, for a while, back when we first got him. But, I don't know man, things just, they seemed to be fine. I was handling it just fine on my own," Morgan explained.

"Anniversaries can be hard, Morgan. Maybe there's some things you still need to face. Maybe you should call your therapist," Hotch urged him. Morgan shook his head.

"I don't know, I've been doing fine, I really don't know what happened today," Morgan retaliated.

"That's what concerns me," Hotch pushed, "I can't have my agents drinking in the field. If this could come up again, I have to insist that you see someone." Morgan sighed.

"I'll call my therapist tomorrow. But I'm not making a full time commitment out of this again." Hotch nodded, "Alright, deal."

They had reached the BAU and Hotch parked the SUV in the parking garage. As he turned off the car he turned to Morgan.

"Morgan, I know this has been difficult for you to deal with at times, but please remember we are your family and we care deeply about you. When I lost Haley, I felt like I had no one left in the world but Jack. It's important to know that you've got friends here that you can rely on to help you with anything." He gave Morgan a pat on the shoulder and turned back to Reid.

"What are we gonna do with him?" He chuckled. Morgan laughed too, "I'll take care of him, I can give him a ride home." He leaned over the center counsel and shook Reid's leg.

"Reid, wake up man, we're at the bureau," He called. Reid blinked his eyes open slowly and looked around in a haze.

"Oh," was his only response. Morgan laughed again.

"Come on man, I'll give you a ride home." Reid nodded and stumbled out of the car. The three men took their bags from the back of the SUV, said their goodbyes and parted ways. Reid stumbled all the way to Morgan's car.

"Jeez, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you've been drinking!" Morgan teased.

"Haven't slept much," Reid retorted.

"You could have slept on the plane," Morgan chided him. Reid was suddenly somber and looked straight into Morgan's eyes from the passenger seat.

"No, I couldn't," he told him seriously. Morgan rolled his eyes a little and started the car.

"You really could have," he argued. Reid grabbed his arm from the shifter and made Morgan look at him again.

"I could never sleep knowing you needed help," Reid looked earnestly into Morgan's eyes as he said it. Morgan quickly looked away and Reid let go of his arm. The two were silent as he pulled out of the garage and headed in the direction of Reid's apartment. After a few minutes, Morgan reached over and nudged Reid's shoulder.

"Hey now, no falling asleep on me this time!" He exclaimed. Reid laughed.

"Alright, alright, I'm awake!" They made small talk for a while but as they neared Reid's apartment Morgan knew he needed to ask the question on his mind. He took a deep breath before glancing over at Reid and prying, "So, what were you and Hotch arguing about on the plane?" Reid tensed in his seat.

"Oh nothing, wasn't a big deal, no worries," He tried to smile to reassure Morgan, but Morgan saw right through it.

"Reid, we're best friends, right? That's what you said." Reid nodded, "Yeah..."

"Well, best friends know when the other is lying," Morgan told him. Reid was quiet for a minute.

"Please Morgan, now is not the time. Just let it go," Reid pleaded. Morgan nodded.

"Okay, but tell me are you okay?"

"Yes, yeah, I'm perfectly fine, healthy as a horse," Reid joked. "But for real, yes I'm okay." Morgan nodded, "Alright..." He didn't want to let it go, but Reid was probably right, it was late and it had been a long day. Now may not be the right time.

When they arrived at Reid's apartment, Morgan pulled into the parking lot and found a spot near the front. They got out and Morgan helped Reid get his bags from the back. Reid was almost at the front door when Morgan called out to him.

"Hey, uh, you mind if I come up for a drink?" He asked hopefully. Reid turned around.

"You just want me to spill my secrets," he protested. Morgan smiled, "Maybe, but I also had a really shitty day and I could really use some time with a friend." Reid sighed, he could never say no to Morgan, but especially not tonight, "Alright, come on up." He smiled a little as Morgan joined him on the front step.

"So, you got anything good?" Morgan asked as they entered the building.

"Mostly tea," Reid replied honestly as they waited for the elevator. Morgan laughed, "Well, I guess that'll have to do."

The elevator doors opened to reveal a person sitting outside of an apartment near the end of the hall.

"Reid, isn't that your apartment?" Morgan asked.

"Yeah," Reid answered begrudgingly. This could not be happening. His face sunk in anxiety. The figure stood up and made their way down the hall towards them.

"Spencer! I'm sorry about what I said before, I…" Reid cut him off before he could continue.

"Trey, what are you doing here? It's 10pm on a Tuesday night. This is Agent Morgan, we have some work to do. I'm sorry but whatever it is will have to wait." Reid stated sternly. The man, Trey, stumbled a little over his words, eyeing Morgan over.

"You just got home from work, can't it wait, we really need to talk about this. I thought it would be a nice surprise," Trey fumbled over his words as Reid's demeaner stayed cold.

"Morgan, go on in, help yourself to whatever, I'll be in in a minute," Reid directed his friend giving him the keys to his apartment. Morgan hesitated for a minute, "You sure?" Reid nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine just some NA stuff." Morgan nodded understandingly, "Alright, see ya in a minute, gotta finish up that paperwork." Reid glared at Morgan as he smirked back.

Morgan went in Reid's apartment and sat on the couch. He would have turned on the TV but Reid's set looked like it was from the 90's. He doubted the kid ever actually watched it and had it more for social stigma than anything. It wasn't long before Reid came in behind him looking frazzled. He headed straight for the kitchen so Morgan got off the couch and followed him. Reid started pulling out things to make tea and Morgan leaned against the counter to watch him.

"Reid…" Morgan questioned as the kid slammed cupboard doors and knocked over the cups he set out.

"Who was that?" Morgan wondered what could make the kid so upset.

"Nobody, like I said just a friend," Reid brushed him off. Morgan moved in front of Reid and stilled him, grasping his wrists in his hands.

"Ya know, I would believe you, but it looks like a tornado just hit your kitchen and we've only been here for five minutes. Now if you need to go help him, be his sponsor or whatever, we can talk another time. It's okay," Morgan told him. Reid pulled out of his grasp and took a deep breath before going back to making the tea. He filled the kettle with water and Morgan took it from him to put on the stove.

"We don't need any burns tonight," Morgan reasoned. Reid rolled his eyes.

"I don't have to go anywhere, everything's fine. He just shouldn't have been here," Reid didn't budge on his story. Morgan just shrugged.

"Alright, well when you're ready to tell me the truth, I'm right here." He sat at the bar in Reid's kitchen. Reid braced himself against the counter and hung his head.

"Why did you come here tonight Derek?" Reid asked pointedly. There was a reason Morgan was here he had to remind himself. Morgan had asked to come up, Reid hadn't invited him.

"Because I wanted to thank you for what you did today, on the plane, I… I really needed it," Morgan answered honestly. It was hard for him to admit but Spencer was finally showing the support Morgan had always needed. Reid wasn't scared of hurting Morgan's ego and he was reaching out to him. Most people just brushed it under the rug and pretended nothing was wrong when Morgan encountered a particularly bad case. No one knew how to confront him without upsetting him further. Reid had offered him unwavering support and Morgan had finally caved. Reid straightened and turned to face him.

"It was nothing, I'm sorry I can't do more," Reid told him earnestly. Morgan gave a cold laugh.

"More, kid, you've done more for me than anyone ever has before," Morgan looked Reid straight in the eye. "You know I've never told anyone about what he did to me before." Reid was surprised, they'd talked briefly about Morgan's encounter with Buford in the past, when Morgan first admitted to the team what had happened. He'd told Reid separately as the genius was out cold on the plane when Morgan had originally admitted it to the team. It had never occurred to Reid that Morgan might have shared something different with him than what he had told the rest of the team.

"You've told me a little," Reid argued, trying to defend his perspective. Morgan nodded, "You're the only one." Reid seemed to sink back against the counter with the weight of the revelation. Surely Morgan had told the team the same thing he'd told Reid.

"So, the cabin… the drinking…" Reid pushed. Morgan shook his head.

"I talked to James about it before they took Carl in, I didn't have to give a statement because the statute of limitations was up." So no one else knew about the cabin.

"But, Hotch… and Gideon…" Reid fumbled. Someone else had to have the same information Morgan had given him. Morgan shook his head again. It was scaring him the way Reid was trying to deny that he was the only one who knew details about what had happened to him. Maybe Reid wasn't ready for that kind of information.

"They heard me say it happened, but not what happened. You're it kid," Morgan looked so vulnerable in that moment Reid wanted to just rush him and give him a hug. Tears pricked his eyes as he realized he was going to crush everything Morgan had ever put into him.

"No!" He got angry. "No, you shouldn't trust me. Tell Emily, or JJ, not me. I'm not right, don't… just don't!" Reid clenched his fists and his eyes closed as he thought of how betrayed Derek would feel when he told him. He felt sick to his stomach.

"Spencer, what?" Morgan was out of his seat and staring at Reid bewildered. He should have known, he pushed the genius too far. He needed Reid to understand though, he needed Reid to be the one. Fear evident in his features. "What are you talking about man?"

"I'm sorry Morgan, I never meant to, I'd never hurt you on purpose. I'm so sorry, I, I can't help it" Reid stammered out desperately trying not to cry. He should have told Morgan sooner. But how could he have known the agent would put all his trust in him. Reid was distraught over the conversation that was about to go down.

"Reid, what the hell are you going on about man?" Morgan gripped the edge of the bar searching Reid's face for any clue as to what caused the sudden outburst. Reid was going to tell him it was all too much. He couldn't help Morgan. But Morgan needed him. He needed him now more than ever. He had opened himself up to Spencer and he was sure it would kill him if Spencer crushed him now.

"Morgan, you're my best friend, you always will be, please forgive me, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to tell you because I couldn't imagine losing you." Morgan stalked around the bar, grabbed Reid by the shoulders and shoved him into the counter, giving him a shake to snap him out of his fit. His hands were shaking he was so scared the genius was going to tell him to leave, that it was too much. That he couldn't look at Morgan the same way after finding out what had happened to him.

"REID!" Morgan followed Spencer's face looking straight into his eyes, not letting him break eye contact.

"Spencer, you're not going to lose me just tell me what's going on? What did you do?" Morgan's mind was flying miles per minute. Reid would never violate a child, Morgan doubted he even had a sexual side most to the time, so what the hell had Spencer done to have him so worked up. Was he in trouble, could Morgan have helped him sooner? Morgan wouldn't admit it but he was terrified of losing Spencer in that moment. He would have forgiven Reid for just about anything in that moment. But then it flashed again, it wasn't what Spencer had done it was what Morgan had done and Reid just couldn't handle it. He was going to tell him that he blamed Morgan for not being stronger, that he lost respect for him after the case in Chicago, that he couldn't trust Morgan in the field when Morgan couldn't even protect himself. Reid desperately tried to avoid Morgan's eyes but Morgan just followed his gaze so finally he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Tears escaped the corner of his eyes as barely above a whisper he admitted, "Trey is my boyfriend."


	4. Chapter 4

Morgan let him go and took a few steps back.

"What?" He asked dumbfounded. His brain was frozen, he couldn't comprehend what Reid had just said. Reid lifted his eyes to Morgan's face this time, tears falling freely.

"Trey is my boyfriend, I'm sorry Morgan, I'm so sorry," Reid confessed. Reid didn't know what was happening as Morgan rushed him and pulled him into a hug. Morgan couldn't stop himself from laughing as relief flooded through him that Spencer hadn't rejected him.

"Spencer Reid, my genius boy, how could you be so stupid?" He kept laughing as Reid struggled to comprehend what was happening. Why was Morgan hugging him? He should be screaming, yelling at Spencer for hiding the truth from him.

"Stop, stop, wait," Reid pushed Morgan away. "Derek, I'm gay. I like boys, I'm attracted to men. Do you not understand that?" Reid screamed at him, his agony clear on his face.

"Pretty boy, listen to me," Morgan held Reid by his shoulders to steady him. "There is nothing wrong with that. That doesn't change anything between us." Morgan didn't understand why Reid was so upset over the whole thing. Did he think Morgan was homophobic? Morgan didn't think he'd ever acted in a way to give Reid that impression, he definitely wasn't homophobic. Had he lashed out at an unsub that was gay? He didn't think so.

"But, but, Carl, he…" Morgan finally understood what Reid was so freaked out about. He thought Morgan equated homosexual relationships to Carl Buford molesting him.

"Spencer, what Carl did to me had nothing to do with his sexuality. He was a sick and twisted old man. The things he did were illegal and vile and unwelcome. Being gay doesn't make you anything like that man Reid. … Reid… Spencer, look at me," Morgan ducked his head to meet his friend's eyes. He finally caught Reid's eyes and Reid held his gaze. Morgan could see the fear and the pain on Reid's face.

"Reid, listen to me, being attracted to men doesn't make you any different from the man that is already my best friend. I don't care who you're attracted to. Carl, Carl was a pedophile, he prayed on vulnerable kids. Spencer, there is nothing about you that is even remotely comparable to Carl Buford. Okay?" Morgan wiped a tear from Spencer's face as he nodded okay. Spencer couldn't help the tears falling from his eyes. He was emotionally overwhelmed. Morgan wasn't repulsed by him. He was so relieved. Morgan pulled Reid into a hug.

"Oh Reid, how could you ever think this would change the way I think of you? You had me so scared kid, I thought you were dying or something," Morgan whispered into Reid's hair. Morgan held Reid close to him as Spencer let out a sob. He couldn't begin to explain the feeling of having a huge weight lifted off his shoulder's that he'd been carrying for so long.

"I'm sorry, I'm okay," Reid breathed jaggedly. Just then the tea kettle on the stove started to shriek. Morgan pulled away from Reid and removed the kettle pouring water into two mugs as Reid composed himself. Reid scooped out the tea and added it to the two mugs. He took a long sip of his, closing his eyes and allowing the hot liquid to relax him. Morgan quietly picked up his tea and just watched him.

"I'm sorry," Reid whispered again, "I really thought you'd hate me." His shoulders hunched forward as if he was trying to protect himself from the world. Morgan put a hand on his back.

"Spencer, I could never hate you. You've gotta try a lot harder than that to lose me, kid," Morgan comforted him. "Come on." Morgan motioned him into the living room and they sat on Reid's couch together. Morgan took a sip of his tea before prying, "Reid, how long has it been?"

Reid looked up confused, "What do you mean?"

"How long have you known?" Morgan pushed. He couldn't imagine how long the genius had been afraid for their friendship.

"Trey and I have been together for six months," Reid danced around the question.

"How long have you known that you're gay Reid?" Morgan pushed harder. Reid shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

"Um, probably, maybe since, since Lila…" Reid fumbled with his words blushing. Morgan gawked, "Lila? As in Lila Archer? Reid that was like 5 years ago!" Reid nodded.

"It's, it's not like I thought a lot about it at the time. I mean, I don't really pursue, er, relations with people." Reid was blushing furiously now. He didn't know how to explain to Morgan that he didn't often entertain sexual thoughts and considering his sexuality wasn't his top priority at the time. Morgan sighed but he couldn't help smiling a little at the red tone in Reid's cheeks.

"Spencer, how long have you been scared to tell me this?" Morgan needed to know. Just how long had Reid been carrying this weight on his shoulders. Reid's hand tangled in his hair as he avoided the question.

"Reid…"

Spencer sighed, "Maybe, just over a year?" A year. It wasn't as long as it could have been, but it was still a damn long time.

"A year, Spencer…" Morgan's chest felt tight as he considered it. "What made you think that I..."

"Look," Reid interrupted Morgan. "I'm sorry I didn't mean for all this to happen tonight. You asked to come up, if we're cool let's just forget about all of this tonight. Why did you come up here?" Morgan got the sense that Reid was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the conversation being focused on him.

"But we'll continue this conversation another time?" Morgan wasn't ready to just let it go. Reid sighed, "Yeah I guess, I mean if you want to," he caved. "So, we're cool?" the genius pressed again.

"We're more than cool Reid, you're my best friend, okay?" Morgan hadn't realized he may have never strictly told Spencer that before this night, but he wanted Spencer to know that he meant it. Reid was important to him, he trusted him. Reid just smiled at Morgan's confession. Derek sighed and scratched at the back of his head no longer wanting to confront the feelings he'd originally come up to face tonight.

* * *

 **This story will talk about Reid and his boyfriend in a k+ rating sort of way. I think the original question may have been more focused on slash between Morgan and Reid and currently that is not my intention for the story, however, the muses are still working so I'm not going to make any promises. Currently, it will focus on Reid and Trey. Warning: the next chapter contains conversations about sexual abuse.**


	5. Chapter 5

WARNING: Discussion of sexual abuse, I have changed the rating to M just to be safe. Nothing is too graphic, but the topic of abuse is directly addressed.

Also, would you guys rather longer chapters with more time between updates? Or keeping shorter chapters with more frequent updates?

Please Read and Review! Getting feedback and comments helps keep the creative juices flowing! Thanks!

* * *

"I meant it, earlier, when I said you were the only one I've ever talked to about it," Morgan finally said quietly. Reid adjusted himself on the couch so his back was leaning against the arm of the couch and he was looking intently at Morgan.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Reid offered in a whisper. He was afraid to push Morgan too far, but he didn't know what his friend needed. Morgan set his tea down on the coffee table, threw his feet up on it, and leaned his head back against the couch closing his eyes. Reid could see the pain in his features before he even started talking. He reached out and placed his hand on Morgan's arm in support. Morgan didn't flinch.

"At the cabin, you remember I told you he took me swimming the first time. I was having fun, a little buzzed from the wine, and then…" Morgan's voice caught in his throat. Reid squeezed his arm, "Derek, you don't have to tell me. I understand." Reid's own voice cracked as he spoke. His chest was tight and anger was consuming him at the thought of what had happened to his friend. Morgan's whole body was tense.

"I need to tell someone," He finally bit out through clenched teeth. Reid nodded, then realizing Morgan couldn't see him, said softly, "Okay, take your time." Morgan took a deep breath before continuing.

"He came up behind me, like, like he was giving me a hug. And it just, it didn't stop he just stayed there. And then…" Morgan's eyes were squeezed tightly shut and his face pinched as he struggled to keep talking. "His hand moved down my chest and, he…" Morgan's voice broke," he cupped me." Reid could see the anguish in Morgan's features as he relived that moment. Spencer was doing everything he could to keep himself calm.

"I didn't know what was happening. I just, I froze. I couldn't understand what he was doing. He, he started moving his hand, and I could, I could feel him, behind me." Morgan's voice was angry now. "That bastard got hard touching me!" Reid couldn't stand it. He moved to sit side by side with Morgan, hoping the physical presence of his body would help comfort his friend. He took Morgan's hand in his own and held it tight. Morgan leaned into him. "He said, he said I must like it because he always made me, he'd make me, finish…" Reid's heart broke and he squeezed Morgan's hand, hard.

"Morgan, you can't control your body's physical reaction to stimulation like that," Reid told him.

"He was right though, if I hated it that much why did I always get a, a release?" Morgan sat up and looked straight into Reid's eyes. His own eye's swirling with guilt. Reid placed both his hands on Morgan's shoulders.

"Derek Morgan, listen to me, you cannot control the physical reactions of your body. Just because he forced you to endure stimulation long enough to exhibit a physical response does not mean that you enjoyed what that man did to you in any way. This is not your fault. You did not bring any of this on yourself," Reid stressed to the breaking man in front of him. Searching Reid's face for sincerity Morgan once again held Reid's gaze as he whispered, "I didn't want it." Morgan's face was as readable as a clock, all of his vulnerability in Reid's hands, as he waited to make sure the genius believed what he was saying. Reid didn't break his gaze as he brought a hand to Morgan's face to wipe away a stray tear that had dared to fall.

"I know you didn't Derek, I know" Reid told him sincerely. Morgan launched himself into Reid's arms as he let out a muffled sob. Reid held his friend tightly as he rubbed his back and rocked him on the couch.

"Shh, it's okay Morgan. None of this is your fault. I know you didn't want it, it's gonna be okay," Spencer mumbled words of comfort to his friend as he just held him. They sat on the couch like that for another ten minutes before Morgan seemed to catch his breath. He didn't meet Spencer's eyes as he sat up, but when he leaned back into the couch he rested his head on Spencer's shoulder. Reid continued to rub Morgan's back as they sat there. Staring into space, it startled Reid when Morgan finally spoke. In a raspy voice he uttered, "He started raping me when I was 16." Reid's mouth went dry and he barely gasped out, "What?"

Morgan started to pull away from Reid after he said it. Reid would blame him, be ashamed of him for not fighting back. But Reid tightened his grip on the man and held him close. Reid reached out and turned Morgan's chin to face him. Morgan couldn't meet his eyes.

"I don't think he ever got that far with James, I hope he didn't but that poor kid," Morgan started rambling, trying to change the focus of the conversation.

"Derek," Reid called to him softly. Morgan stopped talking and looked up to meet Reid's eyes. He didn't want to, he couldn't stand the disappointment he knew he would see there. But when he met Reid's eyes all he saw was concern and fear in them, Reid hoping he had misunderstood what Morgan had said.

Looking straight into Reid's eyes as tears once again fell down his cheeks Morgan said in a hollow voice, "He raped me." Reid shut his eyes to Morgan as anger flashed through him. Tears of his own escaped his eyes.

"Reid, I'm sorry," Morgan told him urgently wiping at Reid's face and running from the couch. He'd hurt Reid with the information. It was almost worse than telling his mother he was molested at all. He ran from the living to the front door. He couldn't face Reid. He couldn't handle hearing Spencer exclaim how dirty he was for allowing that to happen to him. He couldn't face Spencer knowing the genius would be disappointed in him for ever letting it go so far. He had to leave before Spencer realized he must have been asking for it if he let Buford carrying on for so long.

"Derek," Reid called after him chasing him towards the door. He caught him as Morgan was trying to leave. Reid slammed the door in front of Morgan and grabbed his friend into a bear hug. Morgan struggled against him as Reid fought to maintain his hold around the despairing agent.

"Derek, it's not your fault," Spencer reassured him. "I'm angry, so angry at Carl, but you, I'm just so happy you made it to where you are now." Morgan continued to fight Reid.

"I should have tried harder, I should have told somebody. I'm sorry I let him do those things to me Spencer, I'm sorry," Morgan pleaded with him as he continued to struggle. Reid started to understand why Derek was running. He thought Reid was going to blame him for what happened. He thought Reid would look down on him for everything he had been through. As Reid continued to fight the struggling man in front of him he finally shoved him into the door and pinned him there with his body.

"Derek!" Reid called out to him, trying to get his attention. "Derek!" Nothing. Morgan continued to struggle against Reid but his heart wasn't behind it as he could have easily dislodged the skinny genius struggling to hold him in place. Finally, desperately Reid played on the interaction they'd had earlier hoping it would reach his friends insecurities.

"Morgan, stop! You didn't want it, I know that. You didn't want any of it. None of this is your fault. Buford coerced you for years because he had such a strong hold over you and getting you off the streets. You did what you thought you had to do. This isn't your fault, Derek. You didn't want it." His words had the affected he'd hoped and Morgan stopped struggling against him. He just stood statue still against the door with his head hanging.

"Morgan, look at me," Reid pleaded with him. When Morgan finally lifted his head, he had such a hollow look in his eyes Reid thought the man was dying right before him.

"I should have stopped him," Morgan deadpanned. Reid shook his head not budging from where he stood pinning Morgan to the door.

"You needed him Derek, you felt loyalty towards him for what he did to get you off the streets," he argued.

"I should have told somebody," Morgan retorted coldly again. Reid placed a hand on Morgan's chest and took a step back from him so their bodies were no longer touching.

"And if you had Gordinski would have thrown you in jail and you'd have never made it into the BAU," Reid countered again. "Derek, I know you hate the words, but you were the victim here. None of this was your fault, nothing that man did to you was your fault, you didn't want it… You didn't deserve it." Morgan deflated at Spencer's words. Reid guided him back to the couch to sit down. Derek leaned his head on his hands with his elbows on his knees as they sat in silence for a while. Spencer tentatively drew circles on Morgan's back as he contemplated what to say next. He didn't expect Morgan to speak and he had to lean in closely hear him when he did.

"It was three weeks after my sixteenth birthday," he whispered. Reid's hand stilled in his ministrations. He didn't speak.

"He took me to the cabin again. He did often, it wasn't unusual. We went swimming again, I was used to the agenda by now, but uh, he didn't, he didn't finish this time. It was cool outside, he said I should sleep with him to keep warm. Also, wasn't completely unusual. I was almost sleeping when he, he started touching my back, and his hand, it just went lower and lower." Morgan struggled to catch his breath as he tried to continue his story. Reid didn't know how to react, he was afraid of scaring Morgan away again so he didn't say anything, he just kept his hand still between Morgan's shoulder blades.

"When he started, he was poking with his finger and I moved away. I told him, I told him no, that was too much. I didn't want that. He just laughed and told me to be a good boy if I wanted to go to college. He came at me again and when I moved away he got mad. He started yelling at me, is this what I wanted for my family. To get stuck on the streets. Or did I want my mom to be proud of me. Did I want to die in prison. I, he was right, he, he had too much on me. I couldn't say no." Morgan's voice was dripping with pain and anguish. Reid was consciously trying to control his reactions so as not to upset his friend, but anger and empathy were rolling through him in waves. His chest physically hurt at the thought of 16 year old Morgan about to be raped. His whole body was tense with emotion as he tried desperately to not to upset the balance of the room. Morgan buried into himself even deeper bringing his feet up on the couch and wrapping his arms around his knees, burying his face in his knees.

"I think he tried to be gentle," Morgan continued, his voice muffled by his legs and the thick emotion in it. "But it hurt. It hurt so bad, Spencer." Morgan's voice cracked and Spencer knew he was crying again. But Reid was frozen. He had never considered the physical pain Buford had caused Morgan. He couldn't get it out of his mind now. He was seeing white at the thought of Buford causing 16 year old Morgan so much pain.

"And he wouldn't stop, I begged him to stop Spencer. I begged him, please, just stop, I'll do whatever you want. But he didn't, he didn't stop he just kept going and, and it hurt so much. I'll never forget how much it hurt." Reid was still frozen as Morgan kept talking. Morgan was afraid he had overstepped again.

"Reid… please…" he begged the kid for something. Reid finally realized Morgan was waiting for some kind of reaction from him, most likely expecting him to be disgusted in him. Reid reached around the older man and pulled him to his chest, hugging him close.

"I'm sorry Derek. I'm so sorry," was all he could say as he rocked them on the couch. Morgan's head left his knees and he leaned into Reid's collarbone.

"He said he never hurt me, but he did, he did hurt me Reid, he hurt me a lot," Morgan seemed to defend himself. Reid just held him close and murmured 'I knows' to him. Morgan was quiet for a while and they just sat together on the couch. Morgan let Reid's embrace comfort him in a way he never realized he needed.

"It hurt so bad Spencer," He finally said again as if he couldn't get the thought out of his mind. Reid's self control was ending at the brokenness in Morgan's voice. Before he even realized what he was saying he uttered, "If I ever get the chance, I'll kill that bastard." Morgan lifted his head from Reid's chest and looked him in the eye. He finally saw the barely controlled anger Spencer had been holding in since they'd returned to the couch.

"Reid," he questioned surprised. He'd never seen Reid so angry in his life.

"I mean it Derek, I hate that bastard for what he did to you. I would give anything to be able to change things for you, I would. It doesn't change my opinion of you but it breaks my heart to know just how terrible things were for you. I wish more than anything that I could have saved you." Morgan could see the sincerity in Spencer's eyes as he finally voiced his rolling emotions. Morgan laid his head back on Spencer's shoulder as he said, "You are saving me Spencer. Tonight, you've saved me from almost 20 years of facing this alone."

"You never have to face anything alone again. You know I'm always here," Reid told him.

While his mind was still struggling to come to terms with the information Morgan had laid on him Reid let out a yawn. Morgan followed suit and sat up straighter.

"Yeah, I should probably go home now," he muttered unconvincingly. Reid kept his arm wrapped around his friend's shoulders and leaned back against the couch, glancing at the clock. It was almost 1 am.

"You can stay here if you want to, I don't mind," he offered. He hoped Morgan would accept, he wasn't in any state to drive himself home.

"Nah, we've got work tomorrow," Morgan objected. Reid wasn't convinced, Morgan sounded like he was trying not to put Spencer out. Reid shook his head.

"You've got your go bag downstairs. Go get it and I'll make up the couch, keys are in the dish," Reid told him with a sense of finality. He wasn't letting Morgan drive himself home. Reid got up off the couch and went to a closet in the hall to grab an old comforter and pillow for Morgan. He heard Morgan get the keys from the dish in the hall and go out the door. He relaxed a little knowing Morgan wasn't going to fight him on the issue. He laid out the comforter and pillow on the couch before going into his room to change into pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. He went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and when he came back out Morgan had reappeared in the living room with his go-bag. Reid smiled at him.

"You know where the bathroom is, I'm going to get up around 8 to shower. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. Just let me know if you need anything," Reid told him.

"Thanks pretty boy, sleep well," Morgan smiled back. Reid turned off the kitchen lights, made sure the door was locked and was headed up the hall to his bedroom when Morgan called out to him.

"Hey Spencer," Reid turned around to see Morgan standing at the start of the hall with his pajamas and toothbrush in hand.

"Yeah?" Morgan ducked his head a little but kept his focus on Reid's face.

"Thank you, for everything tonight. I know it can't have been easy for you, but I, I really appreciate it," he told the younger man sincerely. Reid walked back down the hall and gave Morgan a hug around his toiletries.

"Any time, Derek. I'll always be here, if you need anything, day or night, I'm here for you. It's a lot to take in, but I can't imagine letting you face it alone. I'm so proud of you Derek, I hope to be half the man that you are someday," Reid told him genuinely. Morgan shook his head at that.

"Reid you've got a lot of working out to do to get there," he told him with a wink. Reid just laughed.

"Goodnight Derek," he called as he headed back to his room.

"Goodnight Spencer," Morgan echoed as he turned into the bathroom to get ready for bed.


	6. Chapter 6

Reid woke up in the middle of the night unsure of what had awakened him. He rolled over to go back to sleep when he heard a shout from the living room. He quickly jumped of bed and flew to the noise. When he reached the living room Morgan was fighting against the comforter on the couch. He was crying out incoherently and yelling, "Stop!" intermittently. Reid quickly reached down to shake his friend awake. The next second Spencer was lying flat on his back on the coffee table, their tea mugs from earlier crushed underneath him. Morgan had his hands pinned down above his head and straddled him pinning his body in place as well. Reid braced himself for a blow as he started talking to Morgan trying to calm him.

"It's Reid, Morgan. It's me, Spencer, I'm not going to hurt you," he voiced loudly, but trying to keep from shouting, not wanting to upset Morgan any more. Morgan's eyes focused in the dark and just as fast as it had happened he had flung himself backwards off of Spencer onto the floor, staring at the younger man in disbelief. Reid didn't move from the coffee table, trying to catch his breath after having the wind knocked out of him. He turned his head to make eye contact with Morgan whose own eyes were huge staring at Reid from the floor. Reid could see the distress in his eyes.

"Derek…" He rasped softly. His voice seemed to bring Morgan back to the real world. He jumped up off the floor and pulled Reid up off the coffee table.

"Oh my god, Reid, I am so sorry! Are you okay? Your back, oh man, Spencer I'm so sorry," Morgan rambled as he caught sight of the broken glass covering the table. He pulled Spencer's t-shirt off over his head. Reid was still in a daze.

"I'm fine, mm fine," he tried to reassure Morgan. The older man inspected Reid's back in the dark taking in his dripping hair and sticky torso. Angry red marks littered the space between his shoulders and the small of his back but from the light of the moon through the window Morgan didn't see much blood.

"Come in the bathroom, I'll clean you up. Reid, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to jump you, I was dreaming," Morgan apologized again as he herded the genius towards the bathroom. Reid followed complacently but when Morgan turned on the light in the bathroom he seemed to suddenly become aware of his half naked state and covered his chest with his arms, backing away from Morgan.

"Hey, come here, let me take a look at you," Morgan urged him. Reid shook his head shrinking away into the shadow of the hallway.

"I'm fine, I'll just shower now, get cleaned up. Don't worry about the living room we'll clean it up in the morning," Reid countered. Morgan took a step towards the younger man reaching out to him. Reid retreated farther away from him.

"Spencer, come here, let me clean you up. I have to make sure you haven't got any glass in your back." Sensing that Reid wasn't going to become any less self-conscious Morgan reached out and took a towel off the hook on the wall and handed it to him. "Here," He offered, not wanting to make Reid any more embarrassed. Reid took the towel eagerly and covering his front he slowly stepped back into the light. Morgan spun him around so he could get a good look at his back. He had been right, although Spencer's back was covered in small scratches and had already started to form bruises, there was no significant amount of blood and no glass shards appeared to have penetrated his shirt. The cups had broken into large pieces thankfully. Morgan took a washcloth out from underneath the sink and ran it under warm water. He scrubbed the old tea out of the genius hair first and as he worked at the nape of Reid's neck he swore he heard the boy let out a long sigh and lean into his touch. He rinsed the cloth and touched it to Reid's shoulders eliciting a slight flinch from the genius.

"Sorry, you're scratched up pretty good, a couple bruises too, this might sting a little," Morgan apologized. Reid just nodded as Morgan started dabbing the tea and blood from his back. Reid was tense beneath Morgan's hands as he worked quickly to clean up his friend. As Morgan moved lower down his back Reid's whole body seemed to pull away from him with every dab. When he reached the small of his back Reid actually took a step forward away from him.

"Relax, pretty boy," Morgan tried to soothe him. Reid took a deep breath.

"Sorry, I'm not very good with the whole physical contact thing," he admitted, a bit dejectedly. Though Morgan decided to chalk it up to being awoken unexpectedly at four in the morning.

"I'm almost done," he comforted Reid. "Do you have any gauze or wrap?" Morgan looked over Reid's back again as he wiped the last of the tea from his hips. He felt awful, guilt tore at him as he surveyed the damage he had done.

"There's some gauze and tape in the cabinet over the toilet," Reid informed him. As he turned around to gesture. He noted Morgan's guilty look for the first time as he kept glancing back at Spencer while he got the first aid supplies out.

"Derek, it's not your fault. It was a nightmare, we all have them," Reid tried to ease his friend's conscious. Derek just shook his head as he motioned for Spencer to turn around again and got to work taping a gauze pad between his shoulder blades and at the small of his back, where the worst of the cuts fell.

"I should have realized they would come, talking about it so much. I should have warned you not to startle me," he rebuked.

"And I should have known not to startle you awake," Spencer returned as he turned to face the older man. "It's okay, I'm fine really. It'll heal in just a few days, no harm done. At least you didn't break my coffee table." Reid smirked and Morgan had to smile a little at that.

"Pretty strong coffee table," He admitted. They both laughed a little.

"Goodnight, sleep well," Reid yawned as he turned out the bathroom light, rehung the towel he had been clenching to his chest and returned to bed.

"Goodnight, Reid," Derek scratched his hand over his head as he accessed the mess in front of the couch and decided it could wait until morning. Pushing the couch a bit farther back from the coffee table, he laid back down and pulled the comforter up around him. It smelled like Reid. Like new books and coffee and a hint of leather. He snuggled into it and hoped he wouldn't be plagued with nightmares this time as he fell back to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Reid woke up to Morgan's alarm going off for the third time and being snoozed again. He rolled out of bed and shuffled through the living room to the kitchen to make himself some coffee. As he set the coffee to brew Morgan's alarm rang and was snoozed for the fourth time. Reid walked into his living room and took in the ruffled man on his couch. The comforter was haphazardly thrown across his waist and wrapped around his legs. His face was buried into the couch. His face was pinched even in his sleep. Reid pulled the comforter up over his chest and Morgan shifted into the blanket. He seemed to relax a little as he let out a long sigh, releasing some of the tension from his face. In that moment, Reid decided to make an executive decision on Morgan's behalf. He picked up Morgan's phone and turned off all of his alarms. He went back to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of the fresh brewed coffee. He sat at the table sipping it and reflecting on what had happened the night before. His mind was still reeling with everything the Derek had shared with him about Buford. It made Reid feel sick to think about it. The sickly feeling tore at him even more as he thought about the fact that this wasn't a onetime thing Derek was sharing, this had happened to him for years, repeatedly. Morgan had said the worst of it started three weeks after his sixteenth birthday. The way it sounded Derek had spent most of his time at the youth center with Carl as a kid. If Reid assumed he was assaulted on average once every two weeks, he decided to be hopeful and calculate on the lighter side, and that he left for college the August after he turned 18 that meant he had been raped by Buford at least 55 times, if it had been a weekly occurrence, 110. Reid thought he was going to be physically sick and he ran for the bathroom. He sat hunched over the toilet for a minute until the nausea passed. He had broken out in a cold sweat. He cursed his brain for being so analytical. Since he was already in the bathroom he removed the bandages from his wounds and inspected the damage before jumping in the shower. Morgan had been right, deep bruises covered the area between his should blades and the small of his back, but there was minimal damage done otherwise. He let the water wash away some of his stress. When he finished he got dressed for work and put his satchel by the door. He grabbed a trash bag and some paper towels and cleaned up the mess on the coffee table the best he could. He would wash it down with soap and water later. He quickly jotted a note to Morgan explaining to him that he had decided the senior agent needed his sleep after the past few days and would clear it with Hotch first thing. With that he grabbed his satchel, left a spare key in the dish, and headed out the door to work.

* * *

When Reid arrived in the bullpen Emily was already at her desk and he could see Rossi through the window in his office. Of course, Hotch was in already as well. He nodded at Emily and headed straight to Hotch's office. He entered his boss's office and closed the door behind himself. Hotch looked up.

"Dr. Reid," he greeted him with a nod. "Have a seat." Reid sat on the couch across the room and Hotch came around his desk to sit in the chair across from him.

"Agent Morgan won't be coming in to work today," Reid told him. Hotch raised an eyebrow.

"He didn't call," Hotch questioned him.

"I, well, he doesn't really know he's not coming…" Reid admitted. If it was possible Hotch's eyebrow raised even higher.

"Oh?" Reid sighed and fidgeted, tapping his fingers on his knee.

"Reid…" Agent Hotchner pushed him.

"Morgan stayed at my place last night," Reid started to explain. "He asked to come up when he dropped me off. A lot happened last night Hotch," Reid admitted.

"We've got time," Agent Hotchner stood up and closed the blinds in his window before sitting back down in front of Dr. Reid. Reid sighed heavily before continuing.

"He knows. Trey, Trey was at my apartment last night when we got there. Morgan heard us arguing on the jet. He surprised me and I, well I had to tell him," Reid looked a bit sullen as he spoke and Agent Hotchner worried things hadn't gone as well as he expected.

"And?" He pried. Reid shifted nervously he couldn't stop his fingers from fidgeting.

"He was fine, he took it well. I thought, I really thought he would hate me, but he didn't really care." Agent Hotchner smiled at him and Reid smiled back. "Yeah, you were right. I know. Well anyway the reason he came up was, well he wanted to talk to me about Buford…" Reid trailed off and Hotch didn't miss the way his face dropped.

"It's so bad Hotch," Reid buried his face in his hands. Agent Hotchner moved from his chair to sit next to Reid on the couch. He placed a hand on the younger agents back to comfort him and was surprised when Reid emitted a pained sound and retreated from his touch. Reid's face tinged red as Hotch gave him another questioning look.

"Talking about it so much, he had a nightmare, I spooked him. He pinned me to the coffee table where our tea mugs from earlier happened to still be sitting," Spencer explained to the unit chief. Before Hotch could say anything he continued in a rush. "So I decided to let him sleep today after having such a rough day yesterday. He needs it. I'm fine, really, just some bruises no big deal." Agent Hotchner didn't seem reassured.

"Spencer I trust your judgment and I don't mind giving Agent Morgan as much time as he needs, but I think he may be a bit perturbed when he wakes up today. You know how much he values his work," Hotch chastised him. Reid hung his head a little, but deep down he knew he had done the right thing.

"I don't want him staying with you if he's a danger to himself or others, Spencer," Hotch voiced his concern. Reid was quick to defend Morgan.

"It was just a lapse in judgement. I should have known better than to surprise him. It's really fine, not a big deal. I'm much more worried about him than me. Everything he's been through Hotch, how can he face the things we see when it's so personal for him? I can't, I try not to think, the things he said, it makes me sick Hotch. And I can't do anything to change it. I can't help him, I can't save him," Reid rambled off his voice cracking in distress as he buried his face in his hands once again trying to block the images of young Morgan from his mind. The unit chief carefully reached around the young agent to comfort him again.

"Spencer, you're doing a lot for him by just being there. Morgan has never reached out to anyone before. He trusts you. You can't change what happened to him, no one can. But you can help him to face it now. You've done a wonderful thing for him by just listening to him and consoling him. He trusts that he can talk to you and it won't change your opinion of him. It's a lot to take in but Derek is still the same man you've been working with for the past seven years." Reid nodded and took a deep breath looking up to meet the gaze of his boss.

"I've never seen him so broken before," Reid admitted. Hotch gave him a sad look.

"I remember when Gideon and I found him at the youth center with Buford. I didn't think he'd ever forgive me for unearthing his secret. But the pain in his face when he saw that Gideon and I were there, that we'd heard him admit what had happened, I thought we'd be picking up the pieces of the mess they'd made in his life for weeks, months even afterwards. But Derek, he bounced right back to himself. Buford is the reason he does this job, and he's damn good at it. He puts his hard feelings into finding the bad guys. There's a lot worse ways of coping he could have chosen." Hotch tried to comfort the young man in front of him. "He's only human, eventually it had to catch up to him. I'm just glad he had the support he needed when it finally did. You did good Reid."

Reid wasn't sure good was how he'd describe his reactions from the night before. He'd frozen, he'd blanched at half the things Morgan told him.

"I'm just not sure where to go from here," Reid told Hotch honestly. "Morgan's been dealing with this for over 20 years. I can't just file it away that fast. It's still so fresh for me. Hearing it all, I see him and I just can't get 16 year old Morgan out of my head. But I know that's the exact opposite of what he needs. You know him, pity and empathy are like torture." Hotch sighed and leaned back against the couch.

"I can only imagine the things Morgan had to say were unpleasant to hear. I think you just need to be honest with him. You need time to process things, that's understandable." Hotch was right but Reid felt like he was failing Morgan. He just nodded.

"Reid, if you want to take a day too I don't mind. The teams just doing paperwork today," Hotch offered him. Reid shook his head.

"No, I don't know what I would do with my time. It would just give me time to dwell on it," Reid denied his offer. "I'll just get started on my paperwork." With that he got up and left Hotch's office leaving the unit chief perplexed at the situation before him.

Around noon the bull pen doors swung open and Morgan strode in with a hostile look on his face. He glared at Reid's back. When Hotch saw him, he came out of his office before a confrontation could take place.

"Morgan," he caught the senior agent's attention.

"Hotch, I'm sorry, apparently my alarm didn't go off this morning," Morgan explained in a bitter tone, still glaring daggers in Reid's direction.

"Not a problem," Hotch told him. "May I have a word?" With a soft growl Morgan stalked up the steps to Hotch's office. He started defending himself again as soon as he was through the door. Hotch held up a hand to quiet him as he closed the door behind him.

"I don't care that you're late, I was hoping you'd take the whole day. But when Reid told me you weren't in on the plan I knew there'd be trouble."

"Hotch, he had no right!" Morgan exclaimed. The unit chief motioned for the senior agent to sit down on the couch Reid had occupied earlier and sat again in the chair across from him.

"Derek, he was doing what he thought was best." Hotch reasoned with him. Morgan huffed and shook his head.

"It's MY job Hotch, he didn't even ask me!" Morgan was fuming.

"Dr. Reid made a professional decision and I supported it, I would have called you if I had a problem with it. You had a rough day yesterday Morgan." Morgan stood from the couch and started pacing the office.

"That's none of your damn business Hotch. Last night…" Before he could continue Agent Hotchner cut him off.

"Drinking related to a case is definitely my business Agent Morgan." Hotch corrected him pointedly. "As for last night Reid only discussed his current state with me, not yours. What you…" This time Hotch was cut off by Morgan who stopped his pacing to fly around and stare at his boss.

"His current state? What the hell is that supposed to mean? He's a little bruised it was an accident Hotch!" Morgan's temper was blinding him from properly interpreting the words coming from his boss's mouth.

"Morgan!" Hotch reprimanded him. "Sit down and listen." Morgan huffed and scrubbed a hand over his head as he sat back down on the couch.

"There is a level of confidence in Reid and I's discussion just as in any discussion that takes place in my office. I've little idea of what happened at Reid's apartment last night but I do know that Reid came out to you finally. His current state is rather fragile based on the revelation of that information. Reid has been working very hard for a long time to keep his sexuality a secret from the team, especially you. Coming to terms with his biggest fear becoming a reality is going to take longer than one confrontation to resolve," Agent Hotchner explained himself. Morgan went to speak but Hotch raised a hand to quiet him again. "I know that you confided in Spencer last night as well and I'm glad to hear that you are talking with someone. I sided with Reid on the day off in hopes that you would catch up on the rest you missed over the last case and come to terms with any demons you were still facing because of it. When you are here Morgan I need all of you here. Now, today is mostly paperwork, but should we get a case I need to know that you are all in, not distracted by the last case still." Hotch lowered his hand allowing the senior agent to speak finally.

"Hotch, I told you, I'm fine. Yeah, I was a bit emotional yesterday, but I'm over it now. I'm here, I'm ready. We run on low sleep all the time, I appreciate the gesture, but I still don't think it was right." Hotch nodded to show that he understood where Morgan was coming from.

"Wait, hold on a second, you knew Reid was gay?" Morgan finally realized what his boss had said.

"Yes, I've known Dr. Reid is gay for a while now," Hotch told him. Morgan was shocked.

"But why, how, why would he tell you and not me?" Morgan didn't mean to sound arrogant but he was closer to Spencer than anyone else on the team. Why would he tell Hotch something so big but keep it a secret from everyone else?

"I ran into Spencer and Trey at the movies with Jack one weekend a couple months ago. I confronted Reid about it the following week and he confided in me," Hotch explained. "He was truly terrified of you finding out Morgan, I have to say I'm still surprised, the circumstances must have made the situation seem rather dire." Morgan just shook his head.

"Why was he so afraid of me?" He wondered incredulously.

"He was afraid that you would think differently of him. I'm sure you know the feeling…" Hotch insinuated and Morgan sat deep into the couch as he nodded his understanding.

"He thought I would associate him with Buford," Morgan confessed.

"I know," Hotch simply responded.

"And you didn't tell him he was wrong? Hotch that's crazy!" Morgan argued.

"I know, I told him he should tell you, that it wouldn't be that bad, but he was so sure," Hotch explained. Morgan just shook his head in awe of the situation still. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Hotch spoke again.

"Well, as long as you're here, there's a pile of paperwork on your desk," Hotch signaled the end of the conversation. Morgan stood up somberly.

"If you need anything else, my door is always open," the unit chief told him.

"Thanks, Hotch." And with that Morgan left the office to retreat to his own to work on his paperwork.

* * *

My apologies for not updating sooner. I've just moved to college! Starting school again takes up a bit more of my time but I have plans for this story to go far!

Again please Read and Review I appreciate your feedback! Thanks!


	8. Chapter 8

The rest of the week went by uneventfully and when Friday came everyone was ready for some excitement. It came as no surprise to Spencer when his phone chimed and showed a text from Penelope inviting everyone out to the bar. Reid was hesitant to go, but he decided it was time for him to take the step and introduce Trey to his team. They'd been in the dark long enough and now that Morgan knew, well he didn't really care much what everyone else thought. He typed a quick reply telling Garcia that he would be there with a plus one before punching in the familiar number to call his boyfriend.

When Spencer and Trey arrived at the bar Spencer couldn't hide his anxiety. His palms were sweating and his fingers couldn't stop picking at a stray thread on the bottom of his sweater. Trey didn't seem to notice any of this and entered the bar strutting in his usual confident manner. Once they were inside Spencer shyly guided them to a table near the edge of the bar that his team currently occupied. They were running a bit late so the entire team was already assembled, just as Spencer had hoped. Best to only have to do this once. As they approached the table the team slowly noticed their presence and turned to smile at Reid in welcome.

"Hey guys," Reid greeted them.

"Ooo sugar, who's the hunk?" Penelope burst out. Reid blushed deeply. Trey stood next to him, taller than Spencer and much more muscular. Sandy blond hair was cut neatly around his face and spiked up in the front. His bright blue eyes entranced the ladies at the table, while his toned frame had Morgan sitting straighter in his spot at the end.

"Everyone this is Trey," Reid got out quietly trying his best to stay calm in the situation. Trey was again oblivious of his partner's nervousness and stepped forward holding out a hand to Rossi and Hotch who were seated at the end of the table opposite Morgan.

"Trey Nichols, Spencer's boyfriend," He swiftly introduced himself with a stunning smile. Agent Hotchner reached out to grip Trey's hand as the rest of the team turned their attention quickly to Spencer. Reid wanted to run and hide. He shrunk in on himself as he wrapped his arms around his body for comfort. His team picked up on the apprehension his boyfriend had missed and JJ quickly spoke her congratulations to the couple.

"Spence! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" She reached across that table to give his arm a gentle squeeze. He smiled at her relaxing a little.

"My, my, baby genius keeping such a gem hidden from us! It's a crime!" Garcia teased him with a grin.

"Reid, that's wonderful, how long have you been together?" Emily smiled comfortingly at Reid. Reid opened his mouth but Trey interrupted before he could start talking.

"Well, he finally said yes about six months ago, but we've been seeing each other for, oh, 8 or 9 months now," Trey told them all with a grin. He wrapped an arm around Spencer, the team of profilers didn't miss the way Spencer's body flinched away from the touch. They were so focused on Reid no one noticed the way Morgan tensed at the revelation. Reid had lied to him about how long he had been seeing Trey. Why would he do that?

"What's everyone drinking, a round on me," Trey exclaimed as he removed his arm from around Reid. The men at the table all ordered a beer, while the girls asked for screwdrivers.

"I'll have a screwdriver too," Reid told his partner. Trey laughed, "Oh come Spencer, have a beer with the rest of us." He didn't give Spencer time to respond before he walked to the bar to place the order. Reid blushed a little at the forwardness of his partner but dismissed it. His team didn't miss the obvious dominance Trey was presenting over Reid. Morgan scooted over next to him throwing an arm over Reid's shoulders as he sat.

"Alright, pretty boy, tell us about this man? Who is he? How'd you meet?" He inquired. Morgan made a mental note of Spencer's response to his touch. The other man didn't shy away from him as he had from Trey, instead he smiled shyly and leaned into Morgan's embrace.

"Well, Trey works at the naval base in Quantico. He's was a navy seal but he's mostly on desk duty after an injury last year. We met, well," Reid trailed off and ducked his head leaning away from Morgan. Morgan didn't let him go far though giving his shoulder a rub he encouraged Reid to continue.

"You met where, kid?" Keeping his head bowed and not looking at his team Spencer continued.

"We met at Narcotics Anonymous," He admitted softly. He quickly continued, looking up at his team. "Trey had a problem with drugs in high school. He's been clean for 15 years, he just sticks around as a sponsor." He wanted to make sure they didn't get the wrong idea about his boyfriend.

"I didn't know you still went to those meetings," Penelope voiced before thinking. Spencer hung his head again.

"That's great Reid. I'm glad you brought him here tonight to meet us," Rossi finally spoke up from his seat giving the younger agent a genuine smile. Reid smiled back and perked up again.

Trey was making his way back from the bar with the beers in hand, a waitress following with the screwdrivers when he noticed Morgan's arm comfortably wrapped around Spencer. He bristled but kept a smile on his face as he approached the table.

"Alright folks, here we are!" He handed out the beers as the waitress set the screwdrivers down in front of the ladies. Reid took his beer and made a face at it before taking a reluctant sip. The table was quiet for a minute before Penelope spoke up.

"Well, Trey it's a pleasure to meet you, I'm…" Before she could continue Trey cut her off with a grin.

"The lovely Miss Penelope Garcia, I presume? Reid's told me all about guys." He went around the table. "And you must Agent's Hotchner and Rossi, the lovelies Agent Prentiss and Jureau, and Agent Morgan." There was bite in the tone that he said Morgan's name and the girls at the table didn't miss it.

They talked about their weeks and got to know each other better. Trey shared stories about how he courted Reid and convinced him to date. There was a lull in the conversation finally when the DJ played a slow song. Trey turned to Reid.

"May I have this dance," He asked with a smile. Reid blushed as he took Trey's hand and they walked to the dance floor. They began dancing when Emily burst out.

"Okay, is it just me or is their body language all over the place?" She mused.

"Emily, we're not supposed to profile each other," Rossi reminded her. "But I can't deny it's been an interesting evening to observe."

"Oh, come on I'm just saying look at them now, Reid's confident and he's smiling but he still holds himself away from Trey just a bit. Whenever Trey touches him he flinches away," Emily explained.

"We all know how Reid is about his personal space," JJ argued. "They haven't been together that long, he's still getting used to him."

"He doesn't flinch when I touch him," Morgan gloated. Hotch noticed the competitive tone in his voice, and he wasn't the only one.

"Derek Morgan, are you jealous of the attention Trey is giving Dr. Reid?" Penelope couldn't help herself. Morgan looked taken aback.

"What? No! I'm just saying!" Morgan got defensive. Penelope nodded and gave him a look.

"Mhmm, and that's why you've been competing with him all night?" She pried.

"I have not!" He argued back. Emily and JJ shook their heads laughing.

"Morgan, you drilled him on his work out, you insinuated you could cook better than him, and when he said he was working on getting his black belt you showed off your gun. You are totally jealous Reid's got someone else to turn to and it isn't you," Emily shot back. Morgan finished his beer before arguing.

"I'm happy for Reid! He deserves someone to care for him. I just don't think this guy is gonna cut it." And with that he left the table to get another beer. The girls all laughed. Rossi and Hotch just shared a look before quietly going back to their beers.

"Oh, what is he going to do now that Reid's not a little baby anymore?" JJ joked.

"Five bucks he tries to chaperone their next date," Emily said and that sent the girls into a whole other fit of giggles. The song ended and Morgan returned to the table at the same time as the couple. The girls all raised their eyebrows accusingly at him as he set a screwdriver down in front of Reid and handed Trey a beer. Reid smiled thankfully and pushed away his barely touched beer. Emily subtly took it as her own and started casually sipping it as though Morgan had just brought it back from the bar with him. Hotch and Rossi didn't miss the slight glare that crossed Trey's face as he watched the exchange.

Trey positioned himself between Reid and Morgan and casually wrapped an arm around Reid. Although Spencer didn't lean away from the touch he kept a safe distance between his body and his boyfriend's. Trey turned to Reid with a charming smile.

"So babe, I have to work in the morning, but what do you say to dinner tomorrow night? We can go back to my place for some dessert?" He boldly asked Reid suggestively in front of the entire team. Reid blushed so hard his ears turned red. His whole team could feel his embarrassment.

"Trey!" He scolded his boyfriend. Morgan had stiffened considerably at the suggestion. His first instinct to protect Reid from what was making him uncomfortable.

"Oh come on baby, I'm just teasing you. I'll pick you up at 6?" He cooed comfortingly to Spencer. Spencer sighed.

"Alright, yeah," He agreed smiling up at Trey and leaning his head into his shoulder a bit. Garcia had her eyes on Morgan and watched him bristle at the younger man's agreement. He quickly excused himself to the bathroom and Garcia followed. Morgan went into the bathroom and splashed water on his face trying to calm himself. He couldn't understand why this man was getting on his nerves so much. There was something about him that just seemed to just piss Morgan off. He knew the girls were right. He'd been competing against Trey all night. He couldn't help it. They were both strong alpha personalities and Morgan wasn't about to back down in front of his team. He sighed and looked at himself in the mirror. Why did Trey bother him so much? It wasn't like he had feelings for Reid. Reid was like his little brother. He just thought Reid deserved someone better. Which also wasn't fair, he barely even knew this guy. He sighed again and shook his head, deciding he'd had enough to drink for the night he headed back out to the bar only to be abruptly stopped by Penelope Garcia.

"Alright, sugar britches, spill. What has got you so worked up tonight?" She cornered him. Morgan sighed again.

"I don't know baby girl, honestly. Something about this guy, just doesn't sit well with me," He confessed.

"Look sugar, I know Reid's your little man, but he's a big boy. Whether we like it or not he's grown up since he joined the BAU. He doesn't need you to watch out for him anymore. You've gotta trust him to make his own choices now," Penelope counselled him. Morgan shoved his hands deep in his pockets and sighed.

"I do trust him Garcia, it's just a big surprise. Why wouldn't he have told me sooner? I thought he trusted me," Morgan confessed. Garcia reached out to rub his shoulder comfortingly.

"Aww, honey, he does trust you. But everyone's got their private lives. We shouldn't be surprised that Reid wanted to keep something personal," She comforted him.

"Yeah, I guess," Morgan sighed as the two of them headed back to their table. The couple was out on the dance floor again when they arrived. The table was quiet as they all watched their resident genius in a new light. When the song ended Trey pulled Spencer in for a kiss and this time Spencer didn't hesitate. He kissed the man in front of him lovingly as the girls at the table awed at them. The men rolled their eyes while Morgan took note of the way Spencer's actions disagreed with his body language. He pulled Trey's face close to him and kissed the man confidently, but he didn't press their bodies together the way couples normally do, he left space between them. Spencer blushed as they made their way back to the table to say their goodbyes. He finished his screwdriver as Trey excused them from the bar.

"Well, I think that's our cue to leave," Trey smiled at the table. "It's been wonderful meeting you all." He shook Hotch and Rossi's hand again and simply nodded at Morgan.

"See you Monday!" Reid waved goodbye cheerily. The table waved goodbye to their friend before the girls burst out gossiping about the new couple as soon as they were out of ear shot. Morgan swirled the last of his beer in the bottle as he tried to take his mind off of Reid. He set it back down on the table and noticed that Spencer had left his phone behind. He picked it up and excused himself from the table as he ran after the couple into the parking lot. He made his way through the rows when he heard shouting. He ducked behind a truck and peered out to see Trey pinning Spencer to his car. He held his hands on either side of Reid and was yelling right in his face.

"6 months Spencer!" He was shouting. "And you won't even touch me. But Agent Morgan comes along and you can cuddle with him all night! Is that the way it is? Huh!"

"Trey, it isn't like that, I've just, I've known Morgan for a long time. You know how I am with a personal bubble," Reid was trying to reassure his partner, squirming to try and evade him.

"Personal bubble my ass Spencer! I've been very patient with you, you know. We've been together for 6 months and I've respected your limits, but you owe me some progress!" Trey reprimanded the young agent. He moved to press his body against Spencer's as he held him against the car and started kissing the younger man. When his kisses weren't returned he ventured to Reid's neck line instead. Reid struggled against him but didn't ask him to stop. Derek decided he'd seen enough and jogged out from behind the truck holding up Reid's phone.

"Hey! Glad I caught you!" He shouted towards the couple. Trey stopped abruptly and stepped away from Spencer.

"Reid, you left your phone on the table," he explained handing the younger man his cell.

"Oh, thank you," Reid answered quietly. Trey glared at him.

"Yeah, thanks, Derek," he spit out venomously. Morgan just smiled back at him.

"Well, goodnight!" He cheerily told them. He started to walk away and then turned back. "Oh hey Reid, JJ asked me to remind you to call her later. Something about brunch with Henry this weekend?"

"Oh, uh yeah okay," Reid looked at him questioningly. Morgan just gave him a small smile and headed back inside to the bar. His blood boiling at the situation.

Morgan slammed his fist on the table as he sat back down startling the whole table.

"Derek!" Penelope gasped.

"I knew that bastard was no good!" Morgan barked. His face was dark with anger. His fists were clenched on the table and he was breathing heavily.

"Morgan, what happened?" Rossi asked him candidly. Morgan took a deep breath to calm himself before telling his team what he had witnessed outside.

"Trey had Reid pinned up against his car and was yelling at him, pressuring him to be more physical. He was mad that Reid was comfortable with me in his personal bubble, but not him. He was basically forcing himself on Spencer!" Morgan could barely contain the rage bubbling inside him.

"Did Reid say anything to you about it when you returned his phone?" Emily questioned. Morgan shook his head.

"No, but JJ I told him to call you. I want to know that he's okay." JJ just nodded and set her phone out on the table so she wouldn't miss the incoming phone call.

"Morgan, if Reid didn't object to his advances, Trey is his boyfriend, couples argue, it's not our place to judge them." Agent Hotchner rationalized. Morgan glared at his unit chief.

"He shouldn't be forcing Spencer to do anything he doesn't want to!" Morgan exclaimed. Agent Hotchner just gave him a stern look and Morgan sighed shaking his head. Just then they were interrupted by JJ's phone ringing. She jumped to pick it up.

"Hey Reid, how are you?" She asked putting the phone on speaker.

"Hi JJ, I'm fine. Morgan mentioned something about going to brunch this weekend?" Reid's voice was difficult to hear over the commotion in the bar.

"Oh yeah, Henry would love to see you. Are you at home yet?" She questioned him carefully.

"No, I'm riding with Trey. We just stopped at a gas station. He's outside now." Reid told them.

"Morgan overheard you arguing, is everything okay? Are you safe?" JJ asked worriedly. Reid let out a terse laugh.

"Everything's fine, don't worry about me. I'll all you tomorrow to make plans for brunch okay?" JJ's face scrunched at how quickly he glazed over things.

"Alright fine, promise me Reid, I really don't need to be worried about you?" Reid could hear the worry in her tone.

"I promise JJ, just a lover's quarrel. We'll kiss and make up later. Don't worry about me. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?" JJ sighed.

"Alright, Spence talk to you later," She conceded.

"Bye." The line clicked off signaling the end of the call. The group didn't say anything as they all tried to gauge the situation. Finally, taking a sip of his beer Rossi spoke up.

"Reid is a smart kid. If he was in trouble he would let us know. I'm sure it was just an over-reaction," He concluded. Derek sighed as the end of the conversation was signaled. He couldn't stop the uneasy feeling that had settled itself in his stomach.

* * *

Hello all! I apologize for the long time between updates! I have 4 labs this semester in college and my life has gotten overwhelmingly busy. I still have many plans for this story so stick with me and I hope to give you a good read! I already have a plot mapped out for at least 6 more chapters I hope. With room to grow! Reviews really help to inspire my muse! I would love to hear any feedback you want to give! Thanks so much for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

Sunday morning brunch came to an abrupt halt when JJ received a call from Hotch alerting them to a new case. The two agents bid their goodbyes to Will and Henry before dashing off to the bureau. They were the last to arrive to the conference room and quickly took their seats as Penelope started introducing the case to the team. Before they knew it, they had flown to a small town in Michigan, worked a long day, and returned to the last three rooms the hotel had to offer. Morgan and Reid retreated to their room for the night. Immediately, Spencer was on the phone. Morgan only needed one guess as to who he was calling. His thoughts were confirmed when a smile graced Spencer's features and he greeted Trey. Morgan did his best to ignore the conversation as he set out his clothes for the next day and took out his toothbrush and pajamas. He was pulled back into the conversation when he heard his name.

"Yeah, that's what I said Morgan and I are sharing here, the hotel was almost completely booked. … No Trey, come on it's no big deal. It's not like we're sharing a bed. … Trey calm down, you met him, Morgan is the straightest man I know." Reid was arguing with his partner. Morgan jumped when Reid gestured towards him, holding out the phone. "Morgan tell him you're not gay." Morgan quirked an eyebrow at Reid, but took the phone.

"We're working a case Trey. And I'm not gay…" He hesitated before looking directly into Reid's eyes as he spoke his next words. "I'm bi. Bye." He clicked the phone shut and tossed it on the bed behind him. Reid's jaw went slack and he was straight up staring at Derek. Morgan held his gaze for a minute before he went back to unpacking his things as Reid's phone started to ring from the bed. He headed towards the bathroom. He was almost there when Reid caught his arm stopping him, letting the phone on the bed ring.

"Wait!" Reid burst out. His face was still alarmed with shock and possibly a shadow of anger. Morgan just met his wide eyes, but didn't speak.

"Why would you do that?!" Reid finally burst out. Morgan shook off his hand and gave him a questioning look.

"Why did I do what?" He asked the now mysteriously angry man in front of him. Reid was fuming.

"Why would you lie to purposely make him mad?" He shouted. Morgan's gaze intensified.

"I wasn't lying," he deadpanned. Spencer's face clouded in pure confusion as he tried to sort out the scene in front of him. Morgan turned and left the confused man to his thoughts as he entered the bathroom. He barely had the chance to unbutton his work shirt and pull it off when Spencer started pounding on the door.

"Morgan! Morgan, open the door! We need to talk about this!" Spencer yelled through the closed door. Morgan unlocked the door and Spencer's determined face turned bright red as he took in his friends naked torso.

"Oh, uhm, sorry, I, uh.." the younger man stammered, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously.

"What do you want to talk about Spencer?" Morgan questioned him tersely. Reid dropped his hand as his face morphed into that of a hurt puppy.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked quietly. Morgan shrugged as his body tensed.

"Wasn't relevant," he turned away hoping to end the conversation there. Instead, Reid followed him into the bathroom. The younger man's shock was overwhelmed by anger again.

"It wasn't relevant!" He fumed. "Two weeks ago, I thought you would hate me forever for being gay. I TOLD you that, and you being bi wasn't relevant! I think that's something I deserved to know Morgan!"

Morgan spun around to face him casually leaning against the sink, crossing his arms over his chest, glowering.

"No Reid, it wasn't relevant because MY sexual preference has nothing to do with how I view you and your sexual preference. I didn't need to tell you at all, should I not have brought it up?" He drilled Spencer.

"No! But you shouldn't have brought it up just to piss off my boyfriend! What does that say about me, huh? I'm only good enough for your secrets when it bolsters you?" Reid's eyes flashed dangerously.

"Come on, man, you know I trust you," Derek interrupted him.

"Do I Derek? Because it seems to me like you're just trying to get in the way of my relationship because you don't like Trey. Well guess what? He's not going anywhere Derek, I love him! He's my best friend!" The "not you" that wasn't spoken rang throughout the small bathroom. Morgan guarded his features quickly but not before Spencer caught a glimpse of the hurt he had caused.

"Is that so." Morgan deadpanned, straightening from his spot near the sink.

"Morgan, I…" Reid started to apologize. He knew he'd gone too far. He hadn't meant what he'd said, but he was pissed at Morgan. He didn't get a chance to finish as Morgan grabbed his discarded shirt off the bathroom floor and stalked out of the room, letting the door slam behind him.

"Shit." Spencer ignored his phone as it continued to ring as he collapsed onto his bed and buried his face in his hands.

When Morgan returned to their room a half an hour later the lights were off, and he assumed Reid was asleep. He changed his clothes and brushed his teeth before returning to the bedroom. He watched Spencer for a minute, noting how stiff he lay, before sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I know you're not sleeping," Morgan stated giving the young genius a light shove.

"Yes, I am," Spencer's voice was muffled by the comforter.

"Reid, Spencer, please just listen to me, I'm sorry," Morgan told him pulling the comforter away from his face.

"You're sorry?" Spencer jerked to look at him incredulously. Morgan nodded.

"You're right, I don't like Trey, but I shouldn't rile him and I'm sorry," He confessed. Spencer's face dropped.

"Oh, yeah," he mumbled.

"But more importantly, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I'm bi. It's not very common knowledge. I've never even told Penelope, but I know she suspects." Spencer perked up again, his face confused this time.

"But…" Morgan held up his hand cutting him off.

"I didn't tell anyone because I'm ashamed and, and I'm scared of what I am." He admitted not meeting Spencer's eyes. "I just, I…" Morgan had to talk a moment to compose himself and Spencer gave him space as he did. "I know that there's nothing wrong with it, but, I can't…" Morgan buried his face in his hands before meeting Spencer's eyes with tears in his own.

"What if Buford made me this? What if he, he knew something about me…" Reid bolted upright and pulled his friend into his arms.

"Oh Derek, no, just because you find men attractive now, that doesn't mean anything." Reid grabbed Derek by the shoulders and pushed him away, so he could look him in the eye. "Even if you were gay then, that doesn't give him any right to touch you. You told me before and you were right, Buford was a sick old man. Derek, you didn't ask for any of this, none of it was your fault, okay?" Tears streamed down Morgan's face and he harshly wiped them away. He gave a terse nod as he continued to wipe at his face. Reid grabbed his hands away from his raw cheeks.

"Hey," Reid said softly. Morgan let his head hang and wouldn't look at Reid. Reid pulled him into a hug again. "Hey, you're okay. Everything's gonna be fine. I won't tell anyone, I'll help you, I'm here," he consoled Morgan.

"I'm sorry," Morgan said pulling away, laughing at himself a little. "It's really, it's not a big deal, I don't even date men anymore." Reid gave him a puzzled look. "I did, for a while, in college, had a boyfriend for almost two years. But…" He grew quiet as he explained. When he finally spoke, his voice was husky with emotion.

"I always felt like I was a puppet. Like I had to have sex to make him happy. I didn't enjoy myself, I felt like I was playing a role. I really enjoyed the time we had together, but the sex. It was always forced. I was never there, I'd go to that happy place in my mind, I'd feel ashamed and guilty afterwards. I finally realized I was still being a victim, so I left him. Buford…" Morgan's voice caught in his throat. "Buford scarred me. Every time I'm with a man I feel like I'm being abused all over again, even when I'm in control of the situation. I can't stop thinking I'm making someone feel the way I did when he forced me. So, I keep my distance from men. I can appreciate an attractive figure when I see one, but I don't go after them anymore." Derek's voice dropped so Reid had to strain to hear his next words.

"I can't stand them touching me." The room was quiet as Spencer processed everything Derek said. Suddenly, Morgan was nearly thrown off the bed as Spencer scrambled into a little ball near the headboard.

"Why didn't you tell me? I'm so sorry!" He burst out eyes wide. Morgan met him with a similarly shocked face, confused by what was happening.

"What are you talking about?" Morgan asked.

"I just, I was just trying to comfort you. I didn't know, I would have stopped if you told me. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Reid babbled on.

"Reid, calm down." Morgan ordered. He grabbed Reid's hand closing the space between them. "You don't bother me. I mean, I don't mind. You, it's different…"

"Are you afraid of me?" Reid asked fear evident in his voice. Morgan could swear he saw his friend's eyes glistening with unshed tears in the dim lighting.

"What? No! Spencer, no, of course not, you're my best friend. I told you, I trust you." Derek tried to calm him.

"You'd tell me if I did something wrong, right?" Spencer was so worried Morgan could see it clear on his features. He grabbed Spencer's other hand as well and squeezed them in his own.

"Reid, I told you, it's different with you, I, I know you," Morgan desperately tried to reassure his friend. "I know you would never hurt me on purpose…" He trailed off. Reid made a sound of desperation and tried to pull away from him. Morgan rolled his eyes.

"No, Reid, come on, you wouldn't on accident either. Look unless you like tried to come on to me or something, we're good okay?" Reid stilled and met Morgan's gaze.

"Derek you're like twice my size, you could easily pin me in any situation," He phrased it like a question.

"I know, but I'd still probably be afraid of you," Derek admitted. As he spoke his net words Reid's face showed just how vulnerable he really was. Morgan could see every ounce of desperation, sadness, and anxiety in the younger man's face as he spoke.

"I would never force you… Derek, I would never hurt you," Reid's voice was almost pleading. Morgan tried to unshield his face, so Spencer could see how desperately he wanted to believe him.

"I know…" He answered softly, meeting Reid's eyes trying to apologize that it wasn't enough. Reid could see it, he knew Morgan didn't want to disappoint him, but he would still be afraid. Reid cupped Morgan's distraught face and gave him a small smile.

"It's okay," Spencer reassured him. Morgan gave him a small smile back before moving into his own bed and reaching for the light.

"Goodnight Spence," he called.

"G'night Morgan," Reid called back as he shuffled down into the covers. Morgan had no idea just how long Spencer lay awake pondering over his revelation.

* * *

Hi All, I apologize for such a long break between updates! I am on my final semester of college! Woo! I have a bit more time this semester so hopefully I'll get posting more regularly! Thank you so much to everyone reading! Special thanks to those that nominated me for the Profiler's Choice Awards 2017 for Best Morgan/Reid story and Best Characterization of Derek Morgan! Thank you so much! If you want to vote for me to win, visit the Profiler's Choice Awards 2017 Forum and vote before February 28th! Thanks again! I appreciate your reviews, they keep me motivated!


End file.
